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UBIQUITY IS
EVERYWHERE
-- Bumper-sticker by Victoria Elson
 he book on semantics was chock full of
quotations, each chosen to exemplify a specific case
of word usage or to illustrate a principle of
expression. The selections were notable, too, for
their literary excellence, most having been taken
from the works of great authors. One quotation
caught my attention. I found myself, a page or two
later, still enjoying it. Idly curious about its
authorship, I turned back and checked the footnote.
"S.
I. Hayakawa," it said. Hmm, I hmmed to
myself. A thought struck me: Why, Hayakawa is
the author of the text itself! The exclamation
point was right there in that thought -- but not the
next one: Authors do reference their own works. I
re-read the quotation.
Good stuff. Might like
to read more of it. I perused the rest of the
footnote. Sure enough, the citation was for
the book I was holding in my hands. And for the page
I was reading. "Hah," I exclaimed to myself, "a self-referent
reference!"
Here's another:
Many of the essays I write apply self-reference
(see, for example, elegancelessness). Take that, Sam.
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Self
Referent Rebus -- A riddle composed
of words or syllables
depicted by symbols or
pictures that suggest the
sound of the words
or syllables they
represent.
Latin rebus, "by
things."
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 elf-reference ramifies to
many realms of thought, abstruse as well as
humorous. I delight in the form probably more than
most people. Much of my thought-life has drawn
a unifying theme from self-reference. "Never
say never!" -- probably the first example I ever
heard -- fascinated me as a child. My own first
concoction appeared in grammar school: "I never
repeat myself; I never repeat myself."
Here is my worst,
which I published in our high school newspaper...
Is
this sentence (parenthetical statements provide
auxiliary information but, if inserted in the wrong
place, will disrupt the flow) a question, even
though it ends with a "period"?
...and my best, in
junior college...
All
generalities have exceptions, except this one.
In my English 1A class at El Camino
College in 1951, I flouted fastidious grammatical
rules with unserious violations ("the house's
roof"). A few
were self-referent ("to never split an
infinitive"). The most extreme was a
fictitious child's pouting protest of parental
penchants ("Mother, what did you bring the storybook
that I did not want to be read to out of up for?")
By some unknowable
pathway, that monstrosity apparently made its way
into the Guinness Book of Records as "the
sentence with the most prepositions at the end of"
(a category that no longer exists).
Nota bene, the first edition of GBR was
in 1954,
which allows at least a three-year head-start for my
claim of originality in that venue.
Now, this collection
includes a record-setting self-referent
preposition positioning protest...
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Professor,
what did you bring your copy of Strunk
& White that the class
does not want to be lectured to out of
in for?
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 y studies at the university
included Bertrand
Russell and self-referent
reasoning...
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Form a class
of all classes which include themselves.
Does it include itself? The answer is yes,
it includes itself, therefore it must be
included in the class of all classes which
include themselves.
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Form a class
of all classes which do not include
themselves. Does it include itself? If the
answer is yes, it includes itself, then it
is not a class which does not include
itself and therefore must not be included
in the class of all classes which do not
include themselves, so the answer is no,
it does not include itself, it is a class
which does not include itself and
therefore must be included in the class of
all classes which do not include
themselves, so the answer is yes, it
includes itself, then it is not a class
which does not include itself and
therefore must not be included in the
class of all classes which do not include
themselves, so the answer is...
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Which raises a few self-referent
questions...
- What if there were no
hypothetical questions?
- Why not ask rhetorical questions?
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Television
game show in which the host gives
answers and the
contestants ask questions.
-- What is Jeopardy?
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- Is there another word for
'synonym'?
- What is the opposite word for
'antonym'?
A self-referent
riddle on a milk carton...
A
venerable teaser (O T T F F S S ___ ) has taken the
form of a self-referent puzzle...
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WHAT IS THE
NEXT LETTER IN THIS SERIES?
W I T N L I T ____
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Here
are a few self-referent
observations...
- There are two kinds of essayists
in the world: those who say there are two kinds of
essayists in the world and those who do not.
- Human nature would be remarkable,
were it not that so many people suffer
from it.
- It is alright to write all right
but not vice versa.
- Procrastination cannot be put off
until later.
- There is a whole lot of gerunding
going on.
- It is impossible to disprove the
impossible.
- When you least expect it, expect
it.
- Individualism is always in style.
"The
problem with Internet quotes is you never know if
they are authentic."
-- Abraham Lincoln
...and, of course, self-referent
puns...
·
I
did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a
play on words.
·
Broken pencils
are pointless.
·
I used to think
I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
...even a self-referent
spiritual acknowledgment...
- "Thank God I'm an atheist."
-- Spoken by Ricky
Gervais, hosting the 2011 Golden Globe Awards.
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As alliteration for flatulence,
"pungent pneumatics" stinks.
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...plus a pair of self-referent oxymorons...
- self-help books
- wishful thinking
...or
self-referent
catachresis (reference)...
- We must be able to climb gum and
chew stairs at the same time.
...along with self-referent insincerity...
- If you think my apology is not
sincere because of that 'if' in it, I am sincerely
sorry.
...an example of self-referent hyperbole...
- If I've said it once, I've said
it a million times, I don't exaggerate.
...and a self-referent
rant...
- My opponent is going around
fixing blame for the problem instead of fixing the
problem.
...together
with a self-referent
paraprosdokian...
- Educated people are gratified by
a well-formed paraprosdokian only when they are
not compelled to disclose their ignorance of what
the word paraprosdokian
means.
...plus
a self-referent
aphorism...
- Vulgaris aphorism contradico
nutus in Latin. (An ordinary aphorism gains gravitas
in Latin)...
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Operor non fatigo super
mule,
iustus sarcina
plaustrum.
(Don't worry
about the mule,
just load the
wagon.)
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...or a self-referent
pronunciation guide...
- There are at least two ways to
pronounce orthoepy, which means the study
of the pronunciation of words (or-THO-uh-pee or
OR-tho-ep-ee).
...plus a self-referent
spelling correction...
It may be all right to
say the word "alright" out loud but alwrong to write
it.
...alongside a self-referent font guide: italic, bold, underline,
color.
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"I never sign
anonymous letters."
-- [Name withheld.]
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...and finally a self-referent
transclusion.
 he four self-referent
limericks set forth below (author unknown)
are my favorites so far...
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There was a
young girl from Japan,
Whose poetry never would
scan.
When she was asked why,
She said with a
sigh,
"It's because
I always try to include as many words in
the last line as I can."
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There was a
young boy from China,
Whose poetry was really
much finer.
His limericks tend
To come to an end
Suddenly.
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There was a
young girl from Peru,
Whose limericks end at
line two.
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There was a
young man from Verdun.
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Any
machine desiring to demonstrate the automation of
thought cannot expect to get by with mere prose. I
dare to suppose that one might someday program
itself for the production of self-referent
doggerel...
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From this
limerick computers derive
Simulation of what is
alive,
Rhyming numbers galore
From line three with line
four,
And line one
with line two and line five.
-- Ana Pest 1994
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...followed
by self-referent
mathematical definitions...
Published by permission of mightywombat.com.
...or
for that matter self-referent
Haiku...
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Haiku's
mandated
Five, seven, five form
totals
Seventeen syllab
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 n the meantime, I
periodically distinguish myself from byte-mongering,
siliconized souls by pecking out self-referent
sentences:
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This
sentence refers to itself.
The eighth
word in this sentence is last. The last
word in this sentence is eighth. The
second word in this sentence is second; so
is the eighth. The last word in this
sentence is second. So is the first word
in this sentence.
Since the
third word in this sentence is third, so
is the ninth. Since the third word in this
sentence is third, so is the tenth. Since
the second word in this sentence is not
second, then it must be the third. Since
the second word in this sentence is not
second, then it must be the tenth. Since
the second word in this sentence is not
second, then it must be the twelfth. Since
the second word in this sentence is not
second, then it must be the.
The ninth to
last word in this sentence is ninth. The
seventh to last word in this sentence is
last. In this sentence, the fourth to last
word is last. There are ten words in this
sentence not counting this one. The last
word in this sentence has three
syllables.
Words,
words, words (there are three words in
this sentence). Words, words, words (there
are four words in this sentence). Words,
words, words, (there are eleven words in
this sentence).
Since there
are not twelve words in this sentence,
there is one more. Since there are not
twelve words in this sentence, there is
one less. Since there are not twelve words
in this sentence, there are two words.
This
sentence ends with more than one period.
There are three "quotation marks" in this
sentence. Does this sentence have a
question mark. This sentence has a
question mark? For emphasis, this sentence
needs an exclamation point.
And this
sentence should not have begun with a
conjunction. This sentence is not
pointless. This sentence does not deny its
pointlessness. Since this sentence has a
point, it is the sixth word.
The first
letter of this sentence is T, while the
first letter of "this sentence" is t, and
the first letter of this "sentence" is s.
The last word in this sentence is spelled
sdrawkcab. The last word in this sentence
is spelled backwards. The last word in
this sentence is spelled.
Plurals are
plurals in this sentence. Singular is
singular in this sentence. Plural is
singular in this sentence. Singulars are
plural in this sentence. Plurals is
singular in this sentence. Singulars is
singular in this sentence.
This
sentence is written in the passive voice.
This sentence was written in the past
tense. This sentence is in the present
tense. This sentence will be finished not
in the future but now. This sentence would
have been expressed in the subjunctive
mood.
This
sentence's form is genitive. The
genitive's form in this sentence is
genitive. The apostrophe in this sentence
assures that it's not genitive. The it's
apostrophe in this sentence makes it
genitive. The lack of an apostrophe in
this sentence assures its genitive form.
This sentence's genitive's form's
apostrophe's appearances express four
possessives.
This
sentence advises the reader to never split
an infinitive. Not to split an infinitive
or to not split an infinitive, this
sentence advises to never do both or
always to do neither.
This is the
sentence that a preposition appears at the
end of. Of this sentence, the preposition
appears at the beginning.
This
sentence begins and ends with this. This
sentence uses each word once. This
sentence repeats the word twice twice.
This sentence does not use the word once
once. There is one repetition in this
sentence. There is only one word in this
sentence.
This
sentence is missing a vowel in the last
wrd. This sentence lacks two vwls in the
middle word. This sentence proves that
cnsnts need vowels. This sentence proves
that a oe needs consonants. Ever other wrd
in tis sentence as one mising letter. The
last word in this sentence is
incompl. There is one abbr. in this
sentence. This sent. has two
abbrevs. Look for two
Capitalizations in this sentence.
How many Capitalized Letters are in this
sentence?
This
sentence uses underlining for italics.
In this sentence italics are not
used for emphasis, but bolding
is. Bolding is used
for emphasis in this sentence
instead of italics.
There are
not two negatives in this sentence. There
is not one negative in this sentence. This
sentence contains a truth. This sentence
contains a falsehood. Since this sentence
has nine words, it is true. Since this
sentence has nine words, it is false.
Since this sentence has one word, it is
true. Since this sentence has more than
one word, it is false. In this sentence
nothing is true.
Count the
words in this sentence before you read it.
Since this sentence is false, do not read
it. Without the tenth word, this sentence
would have no end. This sentence ends with
beginning. Ending is at the beginning of
this sentence.
Niquette is
the first name in this sentence. The last
name in this sentence is Paul.
Is this the
last sentence?
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Then
there is the self-referent
acronym...
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Alphabetic
Codes
Representing
Official
Nomenclature
Yielding
Memorability
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...along
with a self-referent
hoax at...
...and a self-referent
palindrome...
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'aibohphobia'
-- the fear of
palindromes
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...not to mention --
oh, all right, to mention -- a self-referent
phobia...
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'hippopotomonstrosesquippedeliophobia'
-- the fear of long words
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...plus
a self-referent
acronym, also
called a "backronym"...
...or self-referent
spoonerisms,
starting as a slop of the tinge and becoming a ploy
on wards.
 
There
is a neat collection of self-referent
jokes to which
I have offered one of my own from five decades
ago...
...just
before a self-referent
script at a
reference page...
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"Enter your
word," commands the window.
So you type nothing.
"Aw come on!"
complains the dictionary.
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...and here, a self-referent
non sequitur
of some kind...
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All Indians walk in
single file.
At least the one I saw
did.
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...interspersed
with a self-referent
figure of speech...
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Litotes is not a word with
insignificant utility and not without
unavoidable difficulty. The use of
litotes is not ill advised but never
excludes those who are unwilling to
withold the requisite untrivial effort for
clarity and thereby avoid inconsiderable
confusion for hardly the least uninformed
listener.
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...not to mention Blaise
Pascal's self-referent
moral...
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Few men speak
humbly of humility, chastely of chastity,
skeptically of skepticism.
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...and Paul Niquette's
Self-Proving
Theorem...
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Men celebrate gender
differences;
women deny them.
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For
confirmation, simply quote the Theorem in
mixed company and observe how the ensuing
argument polarizes along gender lines: men
pro, women con.
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...alongside
Douglas
Hofstadter's self-violating
law...
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Hofstadter's
Law: It always takes longer than
you expect, even when you
take into account Hofstadter's Law.
— Gödel, Escher, Bach: An
Eternal Golden Braid
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...while
acounting for a self-referent
speling errer,
or perhaps a spelling...
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...misteak,
fallt, omision, bungel, delution,
deveation, iniquaty, abserdity, refuted,
flubb, glitsh, bonre, slippup, aberation,
phlaw, blundor, oversite, falacy, whoopes,
gooph, missteppe, dephect, pervertion,
muph, laps, unexactnuss, scrue-up,
transgretion, apocripha, falcity, fowlup,
stumbel, muddel, gaff, misaprehension,
whoppor, inaccuricy, flumox, incorect, foe
paw, bluper, incorection, missdeed, rong,
and snafoo.
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...made explainable by
self-referent
dexlysia.
...and for
enthusiasts, here is a self-referent
Scrabble board...
;
 et's get down to business.
What is the ideal growth rate for an enterprise? The
answer is 17.65717% per year -- a unique, self-referent
number, which I solemnly derived
during the last quarter of the Twentieth Century as
follows:
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An enterprise
growing at the rate of exactly 17.65717%
per year will become exactly 17.65717
times larger in exactly...
17 years, seven months, 29
days, and 21 hours
...which is
exactly 17.65717 years.
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A self-referent
Q&A
(author forgotten, if ever known)...
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Which is worse, ignorance
or apathy?
I don't know and I don't
care.
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Finally,
here's a try at a self-referent
wish...
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"Tell me your
third wish," commanded the genie.
"Hey!" I
exclaimed. "What about my first
two?"
"Your second
wish was to forget all the thoughts
revealed by your first wish."
"On the
contrary, I wish I could remember
everything I have ever thought!"
"That was
your first wish," said the
genie. "And now your third."
Suddenly -- poof -- the genie was gone.
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Thus,
on a day chock-full of useful things to do, I set
about to coin a self-referent word, for which I have yet to
find any use, apart from including it here.
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elegancelessness1. Lacking in refinement
and
awkward in movement,
appearance, or manners.
2. Distastefully opulent
in form or presentation.
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Epilog
Five years went by
after the unpromoted apperarance of Elegancelessness. On June 2, 2002, I
received a succinct message, which may have been
intended as a self-referent criticism of this page...
What about
"bushfulness" (unabashed and unbashful
blundering)? But a worthy site.
...from Scott Rice,
who, in consultation with Julianne Presson,
maintains the Bulwer-Lytton
Fiction Contest website, to which year
after year I make solemn
submittals, the most recent being a self-referent
entry.
Self-Referent
Screenplay
A new avocation and
accumulated commentaries over nine more years
inspired this effort...
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1.
FADE IN:
INT.
HOME OFFICE – NIGHT
CLOSE
ON: Desktop computer, with gnarled
hands of an elderly ESSAYIST touch-
typing on its keyboard, sound of soft
clicking.
ESSAYIST (V.O.)
Dialogue is too hard for an old
essayist
to write...
TITLE
OVER:
Self-Referent
Screenplay
ESSAYIST
(continuing)
...so I quit right here.
FADE OUT:
THE END
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Update
Over the span of a
dozen years 1997-2009, the worldwide populartity of
"self reference" has become astronomical. Bing
turns up 264 million results for "self reference." I am
gratified, not to say relieved, to find that this
particular eccentricity is not -- well,
off-centered (groan). Perhaps the most
scholarly collection appears at Cut-the-Knot.
And then there is
this, received in 2011...
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